OPINION

DON'T ALWAYS BLAME OTHERS 

By Sadiq Ibrahim Dasin

I think there is nothing that has become too easy in this country recently than blaming others for our faults, instead of laying the blame squarely on our door steps. 

I don't have to mention areas where we fail/and or refuse to do something earlier but blame others later. For instance we all have regrets for what we failed to do while we were young. And if we were to be given another opportunity, we would do things differently. Marrying the wrong person after several advice from parents and friends is one example.

As things are hard in this country now, I don't want to draw anybody's anger by giving too many examples of our faults that we still refuse to acknowledge. But I will mention a few so that we can make amends or teach young people to avoid the mistakes we made as old people. It is the purpose of history, economics and even commonsense. 

In fact even as nation, Nigerians know what we did wrong that brought us to where we are today. We also know what we are doing now as individuals that can impact negatively on our lives. Perhaps if we would do some self examination like asking ourselves why so and so are happening to us instead of to others, we may realize that we were the ones that brought certain negative consequences to lives. We may then blame ourselves, resolve to change our behavior that kept us down, and perhaps even begin to do things differently to maximize the full enjoyment of what life can offer. 

Let's consider a few examples here. First thing I consider a good example is how we handle government projects cited in our communities. GDSS, Fufore had glass windows. Every evening young people play football in the class area. Oftentimes a young man play a ball in the direction of the classrooms and glasses in the school windows are broken. Nobody in that community ever talked to the young men. Even teachers apparently never cared. Today there is no single glass on the windows. When it rains students no longer stay in these classes and eventually the classes were vandalised. The particular classes are now what they are. This is typical of the conditions of many government schools across the country.

It is indeed the same with many of our boreholes whether hand pump or industrial. Children will be jumping up and down the borehole handles, adults would be watching, while others pass by unperturbed. 

The late Wakili Njobdi, Wakili Ribadu (Allah yaafu mo) was the village head of Wuro Mallum in Ribadu District of Fufore LGA. I can recall clearly that when he was alive, he had a register that contained the list of all married men in the village on a whom he levied monthly money contribution for the repairs/maintenance of all boreholes in the village. I can't recall a day on which he asked any politician to repair a borehole in Wuro Mallum. But today, the story is different.  Everybody says "ngomnati on wo'inai". Not taking responsibility!

From my experience, communities or we, as individuals, typically do not blame ourselves for anything because it easy to blame others. In fact I may even say, with us, it is even natural to do so. No one wants to take responsibility. 

That's why I want to suggest here that before you blame others, please take a look within yourself first. Those who fail to do so fall into the what is usually said of them; "a bad workman blames his tools" for his failures.

For instance I wonder why an elderly person marry a small girl at his old age give birth to small children at his old age and then turn round to complain of payment of school fees after retirement. Just take responsibility. Don't engage in blame game. 

Again I must advice people to avoid blaming others before listening to their own side of the story. Those you blame may have more problems than yours. Not blaming someone means you have to accept there was a situation where you perhaps didn’t act in ways you should or ought to have acted. We must not refuse to be accountable for our actions or inactions. 

I know what is act of God. Act of God is something beyond our control. But I also know what is act man. It is something within our power to do or not to do. Whereas we must give gratitude to God and accept circumstances He imposed on us, we must take responsibility for what we brought on to ourselves. This is not only good sense but commonsense.

Whereas I believe in the act of God, I don't believe in the act of man. That is not to say that one has personally not erred or made mistakes due to youthful exuberance. But don't blame the consequences on others. Blame yourself. As Shaikh Lawal Abubakar Zaria often said, "diga yaron banza ake samun tsohon banza". 

If you buy a car to drive around town and enjoy life instead of buying a plot of land at Yolde Pate, it is your choice. In economics it is called opportunity cost. If, for example, as a student you spend your time and money watching Premier League in a beer joint drinking spending money, or watch BBNija at late night instead of reading your books, you cannot spend that time in the class reading a book, and you can't spend the money on buying a shoe. 

As I have said therfore, we have to be accountable for our actions or inactions instead of blaming others for our faults. If you never hold yourself accountable for adverse consequences or contributions to your problems, you can continue believing you have no faults or areas needing improvement.

Please accept responsibility. Do not always lay blame on others. For instance although it happens, if you fail examination, don't always say that a Christian teacher failed you because  you are a Muslim or vice varsa. Girls who lay blame on teachers whose courses they fail because they attend parties in hotels around town or follow men about instead on concentrating on their books, should blame themselves. I am also not saying that this does not happen though. 

By acknowledging responsibility, you’re more likely to learn from your mistakes and have greater control over your happiness and life.